Tinu and Ade had a whirlwind courtship. They were known as Romeo and Juliet on campus where they met. They were always together and did things together. Tinu was convinced she had met her prince charming and a man who completed her like no one else did. She felt loved, completed and understood by Ade. Ade felt the same way too and as soon as they finished school and started work they got married.
The early years were all Tinu had known and prayed they would be. She and Ade did things together, spoke long into the nights about their dreams, feelings, goals and marriage couldn’t have been better.
It started slowly, an unwillingness to share the day’s happenings due to tiredness, pressures at work, preoccupation with the children.
It graduated to a feeling of unease, a sense that something was wrong . She tried to tell Ade but he brushed away her concerns , there was nothing wrong he insisted, she was imaging things, being paranoid.
Finally, the day came when she realized what indeed was the problem, she felt alone. She couldn’t share her deepest feelings with Ade any longer as it was either there was no time, they didn’t share the same interests or she felt she would not be understood.
If you have ever been in the position Tinu found herself I have a few words of advice
- No one can complete you like God. Not your husband, children or friends. Find your fulfilment in him and your self. You are unique, priceless and your self worth should be in God and yourself.
- Cultivate a relationship with you, enjoy your company, discover your interests, passions, gifts and talents.
- Take a keen and active interest in your husband’s passions, work, hobbies etc.
You may have noticed that I started out focusing on you, that’s because you can only be fulfilled when you are at peace with yourself and your creator. As you begin to flourish in your relationship with God and yourself , you will become more equipped to handle and overcome loneliness.
Are you married and have you ever felt alone, disconnected and misunderstood in your marriage? Feel free to tell us of those instances, how you felt and how you came out of it.