Our home has always been a private territory. That was the decision my wife and I took over two decades ago after our marriage. We no doubt are happy about this decision as over the years, we have found joy in each other’s company; longing to return home from our daily routines outside the home to a warm embrace.
We spend our evenings together cooking and eating dinner while watching the late night news and trading stories about how the day went.
We have all through the years jealously guarded this routine and it did not change much even with the arrival one after the other of our “fantastic four ” Mummy and Daddy time was non negotiable . We bonded well, never tired of talking and praying together, sharing jokes and throwing banters.
I have however realised in the not too recent past that as private and guarded as our territory has been, there is one that constantly creeps in at will, barges in at other times, insists on being attended to and to my chagrin shares our very special intimate moments… your guess is as good as mine. This rude, insistent and impatient intruder is the Social Media and my wife sure has a weakness for it!
So, while I admit I am a happy husband, I believe I and many other regular guys out there with great wives will be happier still if our wives are conscious of the following:
- Spousal communication must not be impeded by the gadgets we call smart phones, i pads, laptops, tablets and so on.
- There is the possibility if we are not careful for one to be physically present at home or proximate to each other, yet to have wandered far away. Quality of companionship is being greatly compromised. I want my wife to look into my eyes while we are having a conversation rather than the screen of the very ugly, though expensive smartphone (lol @ ugly.)
- Connecting emotionally, spiritually and mentally with someone you have never met or not physically interacted with in thirty long years is a possibility! Relationship gaps that should be discussed and mended are fast getting filled up by online friends and virtual adultery becoming the order of the day. When we complain, we are not being paranoid. The statistics of homes breaking up on account of this are alarming!
I will be a happier husband therefore when my wife refuses to respond to her many chats when we are in bed and when she deliberately keeps her phone away from our dinner table either at home or in a restaurant. Not allowing social media to interrupt our “we time” is another definition of “respect” and just before you scream “you are a kettle calling a pot black” I raise my arms in submission! I am guilty as charged! I admit that what is good for the goose is also good for the gander. I promise to also take note of the points above and abide by the rules being proposed. After all, a happier husband deserves a happier wife. Doesn’t he?
He is married to Bisi Adebayo and they both have four children; two adults, one teenager and a pre-teenager. He was once the Chairman of the Parents Teachers Association (PTA) of one of the leading schools in Lagos. He is presently the Dean of School of Parenting, Daystar Christian Centre.
He is passionate about good parenting and a much sought speaker on parenting and family matters.