The Link Between Friendship & Seduction

Wow! I love the feedback I am getting from this particular category of the blog.

The previous post on “The Art of Seduction” clearly achieved its objectives and it appears like we are all on the same page on the need to quickly get down to the task of spilling out the basics and the know-how of this skilful art.

You will all agree with me that there is no point building a sky scraper on a bad foundation. We are therefore this week laying the foundation on which so much is going to rest…

Has love making ever left you feeling empty and detached from your husband? I mean even though there was intercourse, yet you felt either detached from the art or from the entire process.
You did what you had to do out of a sense of duty and his objective too was achieved. He had an orgasm! But you felt used or abused and if like me you are naughty and mischievous, you wondered quietly to yourself if it will be out of place to ask for payment for services rendered (lol).

One of the reasons women are unable to give full expression to their hidden sexual talents or one of the reasons for their inability to fully deploy their weapons of sexual warfare is the absence of down to earth friendly disposition towards their husbands.

Friendship is therefore a key element in romance and seduction. When a woman seduces a husband she is not friends with, what takes place is what I have termed a “domesticated prostitution”. The woman offers sex and the man pays probably not in cash but in kind… It could be the name you bear (after all you are Mrs. …) or the roof over your head (he hasn’t sent you packing) or he even pays in cash after all you get what is called a “monthly house keep allowance.” What actually happens is that you get paid for being laid.

A good friend is the easiest person to seduce. Imagine that good friend or best friend being your husband…the fluttering and batting of eyelids, swaying of hips, rolling of eyes, tickling of nose, cat walking to an audience made up of two bulging eyes from the sockets, will then become meaningful, exciting and productive.

You are hereby solemnly warned that an attempt to seduce a husband whose friendship you have not cultivated or sustained may earn you a condescending look, an accusation of adultery or “looseness” and even disdain coupled with contempt.

I therefore advise you not to put the cart before the horse. Let us hang the ” how to” of the art of seduction for now and let us focus on fanning the embers of friendship with our husbands. Once that is in place, then the embers of passion can be fanned to the highest heavens!

Wikipedia tells us friendship is a relationship of mutual affection. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond. Are you taking note of some key words? Can you confidently say that there is mutual affection between you and your husband? Is it clear and obvious or you need to ponder and probably ask other people around you in order to be sure?

Is there an interpersonal bond? do you feel deeply connected to him? Do you genuinely miss him when he is gone out of town or you heave a sigh of relief?

If you have evaluated your marriage in the light of this article and you realise there is a need to cultivate, maintain and sustain friendship, kindly commit to doing the following over the next couple of weeks:

  1. Offer encouragement to him and be generous with your compliments, look for that one thing he does so well and sing his praises to the high heavens. Take your eyes off his faults for a while and focus deliberately on his strengths. Don’t just notice them, VERBALISE your admiration.
  2. Deliberately improve on your communication. Seek his opinion on things you ordinarily wouldn’t run by him. Let him know his opinion matters to you. Share honestly with him about both difficult and positive situations. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable with him. Verbalise the fact that you need his help, strength, encouragement. In fact, physically lean on him for strength as a demonstration of the fact that he is needed and that he is very relevant.
  3. Allow him to be! Don’t attempt to fix him. Pinch and gag yourself literally when you are tempted to lash out or comment on his weaknesses or inadequacies. Remember it is not your responsibility to fix him. Do not judge him. Do the things that will communicate acceptance to him.
  4. Create an atmosphere of relaxation. Make out time to play, have fun and laugh together even if indoors. Brighten and lighten the mood around the home. If you are the temperamental type, hold your temper in check. Be involved in the things that matter to him.
  5. Purge yourself of any feelings of unforgiveness towards him. Throw grudges out the window and give him a second chance. Wipe the slate clean and don’t react to his shortcomings, rather be proactive.
  6. Pray with him and for him. Specifically ask for divine grace. It is not easy spearheading a positive turnaround in a marriage.

Please note that in doing all the above, I am not suggesting that you lose yourself or your personality. You are embarking on a project, the end result of which is to birth and grow friendship as a foundation upon which passion, romance and intimacy will take root and bloom.

Have this at the back of your mind, that the art of seduction does not begin in the bedroom. It also cannot survive all by itself. Dr Coleman said, “When passion has its ups and downs, friendship is the stabilising force”.

Do drop by to share with us how successful you are with this project. Let us all build genuine and deep friendships with our guys and if it already exists in your marriage, how about turning it a notch higher?

Bisi Adebayo
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Bisi Adebayo

I am Bisi Adebayo, a dynamic woman of many parts. I am a lawyer with over 27 years’ work experience spanning maritime practice, commercial law and general practice. I have had a decade long foray into the Financial Services Industry and at various times oversaw the legal, marketing, credit and treasury (assets trading and intermediation) functions of the organization I worked for, a testament to my versatility.

13 thoughts on “The Link Between Friendship & Seduction

  • February 20, 2016 at 6:33 am

    Very powerful message and food for thought for the wise.

    Those who walk with the wise person shall grown wiser

    I enjoyed reading this as a reminder of vital issues in relationships/marriages

    Thanks for upload ma more grace Ijn

  • February 20, 2016 at 7:05 am

    Well said but will also like to add that most women are not even friends with themselves so how can they court their hubby they dont like themselves( wishing they had the face of angelina jolie the hips of omotola n legs of beyonce ) so how then will they be’comfortable to loosen ‘up n friend their hubby.
    Some women also see the art of seducing their hubby as an act of prostitution that it’s dirty husband n wife should just get down to business of ‘do and go’ meanwhile it’s the very thing the strange women out there use to entangle the men.
    Jesus saidhe that has an ear let him hear!

  • February 20, 2016 at 5:46 pm

    What a message!!! Pls create a key that allows for sharing on Facebook and Twitter.

    • February 22, 2016 at 12:23 am

      Hello Reader,

      The sharing links exist right below the author’s profile. You can share it on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ or even send it as an email.

      Do you think I could make the links larger?

  • February 21, 2016 at 3:46 am

    Wow!mind blowing. Reading through the piece, ‘forgiveness’ just came to my mind. Forgiveness is being emphasized here. If every couple could practice advance forgiveness. If the two of you could agree at the beginning of each year that you would forgive each other whatever wrong you might do to each other, without taking that for granted ,you will watch each other going back to the basis, as it was in the beginning, how you started during courtship. Remember, then, the flame of love was really blowing, so you could easily forgive each other. Since its the wives that we are focusing on here, i will add that as a wife, you can start by forgiving him, so that you can follow all the suggestions raised here, in order to build genuine and deep friendship in your marriage. After all God wants us to enjoy our marriages here on earth, because ,there is no marriage in heaven The Lord is so gracious to help, ask for the grace ,anx you shall receive IJN.

  • February 21, 2016 at 9:21 am

    Message…interesting. Been practicing this Art of seduction for many years. it works.

    Nice Blog. welldone

  • February 21, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    Was talking to a male friend recently who said he told his wife the previous night that he’ll be leaving the house very early the next morning. I was shocked to hear that the wife’s response was ‘ I’m also leaving home early tomorrow’. What happens to her asking where and why. The first place to develop this friendship is in ordinary conversations. Most women can’t even make sensible conversations with their spouse.

  • February 21, 2016 at 9:16 pm

    Interesting and educative.

  • February 22, 2016 at 7:34 am

    Wow! Am so loving this massage as if you know is what I needed.God bless you so much ma and please keep sending this often.

  • February 22, 2016 at 10:25 am

    Nice one there. I am craving to see write-ups for men too. We have turned marriage counselling in this part of the world to a one way thing as if the man has no learning to do or no role to play. We send out messages as if its only women who need to fix themselves. Please let us tell the men the truth too. Thanks

  • February 27, 2016 at 11:01 pm

    Nice and meaningful message,good job.expecting more research comming up with counseling from you.more strength upon you.

  • December 16, 2017 at 6:57 pm

    Thank you ma for this great piece. It was as if you knew me out rightly. This got me so bad. I promise to start with all the steps giving. So help me God. Amen


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