I have recently noticed that most of the really bad cases of spousal verbal, emotional or even physical abuse I have had cause to meddle in are being perpetrated by men who cannot be called to order by anyone.
In most cases, they have no mentor or spiritual father figure, are usually the golden boys in their families and as such even their parents walk on egg shells around them.
It got me thinking – how do we save our sisters and daughters from wolves in sheep’s clothing?
What are the warning signals?
- When a suitor tells you he owes nobody an explanation for the way he chooses to live his life – take off.
- When a guy throws tantrums and acts like the world revolves around him. Don’t wait to pick your scarf, just zoom off
- When he has anger problems. You notice he is temperamental and can’t hold his temper in check, get him into therapy or you may very well become his punching bag.
- When your lover boy acts like he is doing you a favour by dating you…you will soon have him walking all over you if you don’t engage the gear of your life and accelerate to a safe distance.
- When your so called knight in shining armour looks down on your parents or has his nose up in the air around your poorer relatives, he may not allow your siblings sit on the settee in the living room of your home.
- When your Mr. Right expects you to pay when he takes you out to eat or you end up paying each time you ride in a cab together or he asks you to loan him money, take off or you may end up having nothing to show for all your years of hard work and toil in Lagos.
- When your love struck Mr. Romantic asks for nude pictures, take off and remember to take your brain along. A blackmailer and fraudster just came calling.
- When he tells you not to work and that he will provide for all your needs. He is likely trying to make sure you are not empowered and wants to dominate you.
- When lover boy is so loving and possessive – he tells you to cut away from friends and family and insists social media is a time waster or the antichrist. It is a plot to isolate and eventually abuse you.
- When you don’t know what he does for a living apart from being a “business man” or an importer and exporter of invisible products.
- When he is your worst critic, sees nothing good in what you do and is constantly trying to cut you to size, he is a small minded man and will not be able to tolerate a successful and confident wife.
- When he tells you he has been living abroad for years until recently and cannot supply accurate details of where he lived, schooled or worked, has nothing to show for his long years of sojourn, then be careful. He may be a drug addict that was deported.
- When it was his mum, grandma or concerned aunt that did the toasting and the man himself acts like he can’t woo a woman, yet is in a hurry to tie the knots, he may be a junkie just out of rehab and his mum is desperate to marry him off before he goes back to his vomit so he can father a grandchild or two.
Our Single sisters should please look right, left, right again, look up, ahead and behind before crossing the road. Traffic is something else these days…😏😏
Can the WAGS in the house please add to or delete from my list above?
Let’s walk it together.